What You Are, the World Is

Its been more than six months that I have moved away from Birmingham to High Wycombe. Rather I would say, moved away from my friends to a place where I am all alone and not a single known person. Every morning I get up with great difficulty to go to work. There is not the same enthusiasm that I use to have when I use to go to work in India. Then I spend whole day in office thinking how different it is to work here than in India. In India we had a concept of office friends with whom we use to have tea, lunch and snacks; With whom we use to spend time laughing, talking and gossiping and working was just one part of going to office. But here it all complex and professional. People just work and go home and don't have time to talk or laugh or even have lunch with their colleagues.

After long tiring day in office, I come home and again spend the rest of the hours sitting in front of that stupid laptop and just browsing through news and Orkut profiles. That makes me more lazy and then the whole idea of cooking food for one hour just kills me. And finally I end up eating ready made "Shana" food with bread. And in between this daily routine whenever you meet any of your friends either in office or somewhere else, you just talk about how bored we are in this country and ponder over whether we took the right decision by coming to this country.

This is really a sad and boring life, is it not? But who is responsible for this life? I think I have to blame myself for this kind of life. What you do in your everyday existence, is projected outwardly, and that constitutes the world. If we are miserable, confused, chaotic within, by projection that becomes the world, that becomes society. I myself have created a gloomy world around me and I keep cribbing living inside it all the time. I always forget that there is more to life and there is a different world outside this melancholy world. What You Are, the World Is.

The transformation of the world is brought about by the transformation of oneself. To see the change in the world you need to bring the change in yourself. Unless you change yourself, the world will remain the same obscured place to live in. If you are optimistic towards life and keep enjoying whatever comes in its way then people will come close to you, they will like your company and will spend more time with you. No one in this world will love to stay with a depressed, insecure person all his life. Now that I know where I am going wrong, my next step should be to bring a Change in my life. So i better go and cook now even if it is 9.30pm here. This will be my first step towards the change in my life.

We Do Not Love; We Crave to be Loved

Getting up in the morning with a short and sweet conversation with her (at times with an argument), spending your day having fun, watching movies, lovely walks alongside the beach, a wonderful dinner together (at times fighting on petty issues, arguing and compromising), is this what Love is all about?? There is definitely more to it than just being together and love is never static or fixed. Through constant friction, hope and frustration, that which was beautiful and simple becomes fearful and expectant. Relationship is complex and difficult and few can come out of it unscathed.

Most of the relations are mutual gratification and use, though we give it a tender name of LOVE. We safeguard the things we love, because without them we would be lonely and lost. There is always a usage in any kind of relationship, which keeps the hope alive and we use it for personal gratification. Love that uses,exploits and then feels sorry, cannot be love. When there is use, there must be possession; possession breeds fear and with fear comes jealousy, envy, suspicion and lack of trust. If you observe, what makes us stale in our relationship is thinking, calculating, judging, weighing, adjusting ourselves; The only thing that frees us from that is love, which is not a process of thought.

Love is never static, it is a continuous process and it keeps moving as the life progresses; it is to be nurtured at every stage. Just by mere use of relation for personal gratification would never keep the flame alive. Its all about giving unconditionally to each other instead of just demanding from each other. Love is a fusion of two separate identities, you have to know yourself and she has to know herself in order for any relation to succeed. That means to love. Love is fresh, new, not mere gratification, not mere habit. It is unconditional.

If both of you are isolated, each pursuing his or her own interests, ambitions, needs, each seeking from other pleasure, economic or psychological, then such a relationship is not a relationship at all- it is a mere source of satisfying psychological, biological and economic necessity. In habit there is no love. In most of the relation ,we consider our partner to be a permanent source of pleasure, a habit without understanding, without love and once you stop getting that pleasure and happiness then you start searching it somewhere else.