Getting up in the morning with a short and sweet conversation with her (at times with an argument), spending your day having fun, watching movies, lovely walks alongside the beach, a wonderful dinner together (at times fighting on petty issues, arguing and compromising), is this what Love is all about?? There is definitely more to it than just being together and love is never static or fixed. Through constant friction, hope and frustration, that which was beautiful and simple becomes fearful and expectant. Relationship is complex and difficult and few can come out of it unscathed.
Most of the relations are mutual gratification and use, though we give it a tender name of LOVE. We safeguard the things we love, because without them we would be lonely and lost. There is always a usage in any kind of relationship, which keeps the hope alive and we use it for personal gratification. Love that uses,exploits and then feels sorry, cannot be love. When there is use, there must be possession; possession breeds fear and with fear comes jealousy, envy, suspicion and lack of trust. If you observe, what makes us stale in our relationship is thinking, calculating, judging, weighing, adjusting ourselves; The only thing that frees us from that is love, which is not a process of thought.
Love is never static, it is a continuous process and it keeps moving as the life progresses; it is to be nurtured at every stage. Just by mere use of relation for personal gratification would never keep the flame alive. Its all about giving unconditionally to each other instead of just demanding from each other. Love is a fusion of two separate identities, you have to know yourself and she has to know herself in order for any relation to succeed. That means to love. Love is fresh, new, not mere gratification, not mere habit. It is unconditional.
If both of you are isolated, each pursuing his or her own interests, ambitions, needs, each seeking from other pleasure, economic or psychological, then such a relationship is not a relationship at all- it is a mere source of satisfying psychological, biological and economic necessity. In habit there is no love. In most of the relation ,we consider our partner to be a permanent source of pleasure, a habit without understanding, without love and once you stop getting that pleasure and happiness then you start searching it somewhere else.
Hi there! I stumbled across your posts as I was doing a search in Google. What you've written here is very interesting and very thought provoking. However, i am left with more questions as I read thru your post. Why do you say "relationships are for mutual gratification and use"? Is this what you think of relationships in your life?
ReplyDeleteWhy do you consider your partner to be a permanent source of pleasure for you? Is this what you are wanting to get out of your relationship with your partner?
Though it might sound harsh when you describe relationship but you cannot deny this fact. In a relation if both the partners do not gratify each other then there will always be a constant friction which will start with a spark and end up in fire.
ReplyDeleteBeing with the person you love is definitely a source of pleasure and trust me, the day this pleasure vanish, the relation SHIP will hit the rock. But it should not be just one sided pleasure; it should be a give and take relation